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Tuesday, January 01, 2008

It's a New Year

It is the new year. Looks like most of us made it through 2007, good.

This being the first Boulder Belt Blog post of 2008 I will use it to set the tenor for the rest of the year. I am not looking forward to this year as I already know it will not be my favorite year in my life. You see, my dad is dying of unknown cancers and will likely be dead by spring (I figure around my birthday in May. His initial diagnoses happened on my brother, Scott's birthday in November). I am very sad about this fact of life (death) but I, the farm and life will go on as they always do after a person dies.

I am very glad that I got to see my Dad in October as he came down with bad symptoms a day or two after we all vacated Point Lookout. That was my last chance to see him as a whole person. Granted, even than was losing his strength but hey, the guy is 83 years old. I hear from my siblings and him that he has lost a lot of weight, is almost too weak to walk, has quit eating more than a couple hundred calories a day and sleeps 20 hours a day. All the signs of a dying animal.

From what my sister, Maggie, tells me he is ready to die and wants no one to get in his way. He's on a journey towards Death. Apparently if you go to visit him and ask "Bill, how are you doing?" he will respond brightly with "I'm dying" for years if asked about his health/life he would respond with "I'm still circling the drain". Well, it seems he is almost done with all the circling and he is okay with it.

I hope I approach my death as well. I also hope I don't have to cross that bridge for another 40 years

4 comments:

valereee said...

I'm sorry, Lucy. Not a grand way to start out the new year, with this realization that it will in all likelihood be your father's last.

Val

Robin said...

I'm sorry Lucy. The time surrounding my mother's death was much more difficult than I knew it could be. Life does indeed go on but it's never quite the same after losing a parent.
I hope the aspects of 2008 are satisfying. I'll be thinking of you.

OhioMom said...

When I remember my father, it is always with joy that this special man left me with the wisdom and strength to be the woman I am today.

((Hugs)) Lucy

Gina said...

{{hugs}}

It is hard to lose a parent. I lost my father a few years ago under similar circumstances (a cancer diagnosis and a quick death in May). I like what Ohiomom said about remembering the wisdom and strength he gave you as a woman today.